Professor BatWatch, the ridiculously strict and oddly eccentric tenured instructor of writing at Gotham University, is back, and he's ready to hand out the grades, for better or worse, to the poor lowly Bat students just struggling to graduate. Let's peek into his office and witness the spectacle.
Grades are based on performance from December 19th to May 9th.
Arkham Unhinged: Incomplete
Ah, Mister and Missus Unhinged, thank you for joining me. I'm sure you are wondering why I called you here. Your son, young Arkham, has been missing since January, and I know you must be fretfully worried about his unexplained disappearance. However, business is business and I find it incumbent upon myself as a trainer of tomorrow's leaders to demand a certain amount of accountability. Arkham started the term with me, and I am severely disappointed that he did not inform me before getting kidnapped, killed, gaining amnesia or whatever feeble excuse he has for missing classes.
As it is grade time, I must deliver a verdict, but I have chosen to show Arkham mercy by simply giving him an incomplete. However, I was not pleased with his performance for the few weeks he was present. He seemed slow on completing any projects, and I had the feeling he was just stalling for some reason. Phoning it in might earn you a C in some classes, but not mine! I can only hope that you will be comforted in knowing that Arkham's probable death saved him from the much greater shame of receiving an F in my class.
That is all. Thank you for stopping by.
Miss Gordon, I have to say I am very disappointed in you. Though not perfect, your performance last semester was notable and earned you solid marks, but this semester has been a completely different story. Your Joker project finished solidly enough though I do feel like it could have used a bit more polishing, but after that, you started acting like a completely different student with some bits in your narratives that were downright laughable. You had a hero catch a rocket inside a bag? Seriously Barbara, what were you thinking? Then there was this meandering bit about the two-bit Norman Bates knock off who was stalking your hero, yet his motivation never seemed believable, and the climax of the story was a disaster.
Seriously Barbara, you have potential, but sometimes, I think you are trying too hard. Not everything has to be thematic or push forward boundaries. You are allowed to just tell a fun story. You need to unwind in healthy ways. Maybe you should spend some time developing some good friends and make yourself more likable. Honestly, your difficult to put up with these days.
Also dear, I am terribly sorry to hear about your brother, but that is no excuse to show up to class drunk. Leave your Gotham U. water bottle here. I know that it vodka rather than water.
Also, you might want to speak to Miss Waller. I heard her saying something about your brother the other day.
Mr. Wayne. Nice of you to join me. Beloved by everybody, aren't you Mr. Wayne? A rich kid who has it all. Well, you have not quite earned an A, but I will admit that you've done a respectable job this semester. Your Joker project was genius in parts though I do feel that your over powered heroes and villains are a bit too much, and the amount of students who found themselves imitating your work on the Joker project sickened me, but I will give your credit for a quality performance. Furthermore, you've continued to do solid work throughout the semester. Just paying a little more attention on the fine details would probably earn you even higher marks. Now, I'm done with you. Goodbye.
Batman and... (Robin?): B
Mr. Damian. Did you really feel the need to keep me waiting? I had to have my assistant come out and carry you in. Very unprofessional and the silent treatment is completely unnecessary considering I'm here to give you praise. Your grades were...troublesome last semester, but you've done great work in moving them up. I have to say that every bit of your work is just so...full of heart. It's truly refreshing. There have been no problems. Occasionally, you take things a bit too far or make your protagonist to dark for the tale, but overall, it's some of the best work I've seen all year.
That's all. Oh, but on a personal note, I have seen you hanging around with that Carrie girl, and I do not suggest you spend time with her. I find her distasteful and I would hate for you to get caught up with her ilk.
Now, if you will please leave. Really? Your just going to sit there? Fine, I'll have security escort you out.
Hope you enjoyed. More grades are on their way!
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